Transparency/Transparently

In That Moment I Introduced!

It was in the moment where I felt my heart pound at it's slowest and most deepest depth; Where the adhesive grip of my tears hugged my face beating my heart to a physical sense of affection, When my feet felt that they could walk no more, when Nora Jones album "Just Like a Woman" could no longer encourage or save the lack of self in me, and it only had the ability to just get me home. 

 It was the night that anxiety over took me and I drove & drove  and raced the moons rays until they to were finally gone. It was in the moment that I couldn't get passed the ring tone and I didn't have the guts to call another's phone... In the moment where it felt that everything and everybody else had answers and results; but for myself there was none shown.  In the moment that I hugged myself with hopes of one day being free!!!! 

In that moment where I desired NO dollar sign to give me self wealth.  Then in that very moment did I know that "She gives me love love love love OHHH CRAZY LOVE." LOL  in that moment I realized that " I needed her in the day time I needed her in the night time" that I realized that I wanted to be her for a life time. In those very moments of loneliness and abandonment that I begin to find myself transparently. I was able to stop being someone else for me; I then desired to lean on myself for self-wealth.

 The darkest part of my path; the loneliest word in a brokenhearted poem, that the coldest nights alone cuddled in the cleanest satin sheets, the nicest designed; skirt, shoe and clutch combo on a date night with myself when no one else was to be found, the words that I role played with myself in bathrooms mirrors is what truly prepared me to be me!100% transparent, transparently.  In those very moments I learned more about me. The knowledge was as relevant as my DNA to complete me. One too many or one less could put me at risk of down syndrome emotionally (if that's even a such thing) :)  -causing intellectual impairment and physical abnormalities .  I even then realized that I accompanied myself in past time that for today I am completely begin to be defined. As I truly begin this journey of reconditioning and writing myself completely free- I hope that the freedom is contagious; as bondage is never really fun :( And the best freedom IS BEING YOURSELF 

One of my favorite quotes are 

 " Freedom is a single word for nothing left to loose" 

~ Anonymous 

Let's be free!

xoxo,

 N~~Tyese