N~ Tyese

        I'm sure at one time or another we can all relate to the calm after the storm. How amazingly humbling are the struggles! At this particular point in our marriage, the uphill battle had come to an end and we were embracing the calm. It was refreshing to feel. And, I never told my husband that there was a chance that I could be pregnant. I mean with all that was going on in life, we were finally finding ways to show that we loved each other again and able to feel the love. And it was amazing. Not to mention I was on birth control. Which never really means much, because it was only 99.9% effective. We were happier and so was the baby. Not ours, but theirs and she and I slowly became a piece of one another. In the middle of all the adjustments in life his first born child was left in our care for several months and we all learned to cope.  So my, I mean our lives altered. The task within itself was pretty large. But that'll be a convo for another blog! So stay tuned,    

I remember being a child and being hopeful for a great future. I was hopeful for the day I could successfully leave my parents’ home. I looked forward to the freedom; Freedom, of speech, freedom of dress and freedom of expression. Anyone that knew my mom knew that she considered no amendment but her own when making rules and regulating us as young adults. I can hear me now, attempting to justify my actions by saying “But Ma! It’s my First Amendment right.” And her responding, “Yea the first one to go!” Opinions, freedom and adventure weren’t the highest on our childhood food chain. I would dream of big stages, and boxing arenas, my own cosmetology business, or making my mark in the sand in the big city. But of all the things that I would dream, I never, ever, ever put emphasis on being married. I never glorified the life with a husband and a child. I adored nice clothing, nice hairstyles, good books, and watching women of power speak and inspire. I adored Maya

In That Moment I Introduced! It was in the moment where I felt my heart pound at it's slowest and most deepest depth; Where the adhesive grip of my tears hugged my face beating my heart to a physical sense of affection, When my feet felt that they could walk no more, when Nora Jones album "Just Like a Woman" could no longer encourage or save the lack of self in me, and it only had the ability to just get me home.    It was the night that anxiety over took me and I drove & drove  and raced the moons rays until they to were finally gone. It was in the moment that I couldn't get passed the ring tone and I didn't have the guts to call another's  phone... In the moment where it felt that everything and everybody else had answers and results; but for myself there was none shown.  In the moment that I hugged myself with hopes of one day being free!!!!  In that moment where I desired NO dollar sign to give me self wealth